July update?!

Hola amigos,

Now, you may be thinking… has Baby Sebastian found the fountain of youth? This photo makes him look so young. I thought he was older. Well, first let me thank you for the compliment. I know I have beautifully soft and supple skin, with no wrinkles or smile lines to speak of. How do I do it, you ask? I stick to a daily regimen of Aveeno baby moisturizer mixed with copious amounts of rice cereal, baby yoghurt, blended sweet potato, carrots, apples and pears all spread over my face at meal time. It really does the trick.

However, in this case, I am also including photos from waaaay back in July, during my 7th month. You see, I have been remiss in updating this blog, so I need to inform you of significant past events. Anyway, back in July, Tio Luis and Tia Renata (these are actual family members now, not that my other “tios” aren’t close to my heart too) came to Lima to meet me. (There's the three of us there on the right.) And who wouldn’t want to do that? Anyway, we had a great time, telling stories, drinking ‘til dawn, carousing, and generally having a good time while Mommy and Daddy slept.

They came to visit from Brazil, so you can imagine their surprise when they realized I didn’t wear speedo diapers. But we are more modest here in Peru. But I look forward to streaking down Corcovado beach some day soon.

This is me with Tio Luis sharing a moment. I was reading his palm - yes, I have many talents. Turns out his younger brother will actually get even better looking with age. Don't know exactly why that info was hidden in his palm though...

This is a lovely photo of me with Daddy and Tio Luis. (What you can’t see is the plate I am levitating with my mind.) It really is amazing they are brothers, considering how much better looking Daddy is. Oh well, at least he found Tia Renata. Otherwise, he would probably be living under a bridge somewhere eating billy goats.

Here’s me with Tia Renata. I do believe we make a cute couple. She’s just a little too tall for me. Gotta keep eating those blended carrots and sweet potatoes…

This is when I had to teach Tio Luis a lesson about respecting my authority. I can’t quite remember what he said, but I assumed it was a smart-ass remark and promptly decided to tackle him. This shot captures the event perfectly… his surprise at how quickly I leapt from my chair and dropped the hammer right on his head. I hit him with such force that his chair tipped over and it took my parents and a couple of wait staff to pull me off him as I pounded him with my tiny fists. That’s how I remember it, anyway. We’re good friends now, though.

How did this get in here?! Damn paparazzi won’t leave me alone – I can’t even eat a meal in peace. Now I know exactly how Brad Pitt feels, except that I’m better looking.

Honestly, I’m gonna have to talk to my crack team of lawyers. This is just a massive invasion of privacy.

Missing: Super Cute Baby

Hey all,

Now I know I shouldn't be laughing about this, because Mommy and Daddy were quite scared... but I hid so well that they couldn't find me anywhere. I tried to contain my laughter, but failed miserably... much like Abuelito Pablo fails to drink just one Jack Daniels. Anyway, once I started seeing my face on milk cartons here (ultrapasteurized by the way... the stuff lasts years, and tastes like liquid cardboard), I felt bad and came out of hiding.

I think a future as a superspy awaits...

XOXO,
Baby S

And the number one reason that it is good not to be French....

...is that I get to do this....

And for all of you concerned readers, don't worry, this bidet has NEVER, EVER been used in its official capacity.

It also attracts some of the local fauna, as shown in the following video.

Until next time,

Baby Sebastian

Watch out Scalia...

Hi Everyone: I just wanted to take a moment away from my very, busy social schedule to send a big round of applause for my Uncle Jamie. Recently he found out that he passed both the New York and the Massachusetts Baaaahr Exam. What? No! My spelling skills are fine...acute really. That's just how they spell Bar in Massachusetts. Geez.

Anyhow, for those of you not in the know, Uncle Jamie makes up one third of the AU SIS Terrible Trio (Tia Meri and Mommy being the other two thirds). They all met in Professor Doug Little's Econ class their first semester in grad school. They've been inseparable ever since...or at least were until Mommy moved to Peru. They have all sorts of geeky inside jokes about diminishing marginal returns about the world's oldest profession. But I digress...after Mommy and Tia Meri finished school, Uncle Jamie decided that one graduate degree just wasn't enough and decided to postpone entering the real world for awhile by signing up for Law School! He graduated in May and is now clerking for some hot shot judge on the Massachusettes Appeals Court.


Here is a picture of him with Tia Meri at her wedding last month.











Way to go Uncle Jamie! We are all so proud of you. You are an inspiration to babies everywhere!

Another One Bites the Dust

I would just like to give a shout out to my Tios Mike and Merideth, who got married yesterday. I really wanted to go to the wedding, mostly to object since Tia Meri is one hot mama (though not my mama) but Mommy and Daddy don't give me enough allowance to pay for a ticket and, suspecting what I was up to, took away my credit card.


To refresh your memory (since they visited me a few months back), here is a picture of the happy couple, who should be ensconced in a honeymoon villa in the Dominican Republic, pina coladas in hand, by now.

Congrats Tia Meri and Tio Mike! Mommy, Daddy and I send you all of our best wishes for a long and happy life together.

Besitos (especially to Tia Meri), Baby Sebastian

Dragon Spotted in Peru

Know, I know what you are thinking: "There are no such things as dragons. They are mythical creatures, the stuff of dreams and J.R.R. Tolkien novels." But believe you me, I am no hobbit (keep all your short jokes to yourself, I'll grow!) and a real live, fire breathing dragon terrorized a function at the U.S. Embassy on Friday. I managed to snap a few pictures of it and am giving you, the reader, a first look before selling the pictures to the AP or, better yet, People magazine. Be forewarned, however, that these pictures are seriously scary. So if you scare easily, you may want to avert your eyes.

First up is a picture of my mommy with the dragon sitting on her lap. Doesn't she know how dangerous they are! Fortunately, I was there to save her.

Next is a picture of my daddy with the dragon. As you can see, he is fending it off with his magic work badge. But boy does that dragon look mean and hungry. It's a good thing that there were no small children or animals around.



Now, it is a little known fact that the only other animal that a dragon gets along with is the giraffe. In fact, giraffes have a calming power over dragons. So, if you are ever being chased by a dragon, make a beeline for the nearest zoo. Here is a picture of Caleb the Giraffe, a.k.a. The Dragon Tamer.




And just so you see how scary the dragon really is in his full glory, I have included this picture of him rearing up on his hind legs.










The scariest part of the whole day (well, for my parents but not for me) was when he followed us home and tried to eat my Tio Nilo (that's our neighbor for those of you not in the know). Despite the fact that he is responsible for the security of Peace Corps volunteers in all of South America and should be immune to dragons, he was terrified.

And finally, I managed to capture the dragon on video. As you will see, Godzilla has nothing on him.

That's all for know, dear reader. Until next time, keep your heads up and be on the lookout for dragons and tigers and bears, oh my!

A Semi-Recent Update on My Latest Moves (Literally!)

Hola Amigos!

Look at that... I am actually updating this thing a little quicker this time. It's all due to that little thing I call "baby dedication". You may or may not know what it is, but you almost certainly don't have it. (Except for you babies out there...) Anyway, this here is me during my early crawling stage - way back in late August. Really, that was 1/5 of my life ago. It would be like 10 years ago for all you old timers! (I'm talking to you Grandpa Ed! Don't forget to wear your slippers out on the town again!) I went to the Military School of Crawling, hence my crawling very close to the ground. Really, we trained with live fire! It was pretty scary, even for a tough baby like me.



Now, here's a more recent video of my crawling. I call this my rebellious, long-haired hippy crawling. (Is that another reference to Grandpa Ed? I'm not sure...) Basically, I forgot everything they taught me in Military School about laying close to the ground and moving slowly, plus my hair is longer... If it looks like I am moving super fast, it's because I am. That tap you just felt on your shoulder... that was me too.



OK, I'm keeping this short, and ever so sweet. Much love to all my adoring fans. XOXO,

Baby Sebastian (The Speed Demon)

The Much-Awaited Conclusion of the USA Trip Trilogy!

Hey, Hey, Hey

First, I need to give a shout out to Tia Liz, who has been complaining for quite some time about the missing update on my Florida trip. I appreciate all sorts of fan mail, and Tia Liz is apparently one of my biggest fans (based on number of comments).

Without further ado, I present to you the last installment in my trilogy “Sebastian’s Visit to the Motherland.” At some point I promise you that I will be updating this blog on a more regular basis so that you are reading about what happened last week instead of 4 months ago, but hey, cut me some slack, it’s hard work raising my parents. For example, mommy just started doing some consulting for the World Bank again and I have been helping her read through important documents about the quality of education in Colombia. (I am assuming the quality has improved since they taught my Abuelito all sorts of crazy things.)

After leaving the DC area, we headed to Boca Raton, Florida to attend my Tio Loco’s wedding. While there, I got to meet my mommy’s family. Well, really they got to meet me…something that they had all been eagerly awaiting for months. And hey, who can blame them? I am, after all, super cute and very witty as you well know.

Anyhow, it turns out that my Tio Loco (that’s Eddie for those of you who don’t know him), despite being a bit crazy, actually has pretty good taste in women. I present you with exhibit A: the pretty lady here is his bride, Stacy.

And just to show you how well he cleans up, see Exhibit B: isn’t that a snazzy tux that he is wearing.

Next up is a picture of my first meeting with Tio Loco. If I look a bit pensive, it’s mostly because I had already met Tia Stacy and I was having a hard time figuring out what she saw in this guy. I mean, she could do soooo much better…I, after all, am available. As is Grandpa, who, besides being so handsome, is crazy about me. (But not yet crazy.)

Then there is my Tia Lillian. She is a big shot sports editor for her local newspaper. What! You’ve never heard of the Methow Valley News? I know that you spend all of your time reading this blog, but really, you should get out a little more. She’s single too by the way.

This here is a picture of Tio Amit and Daddy before heading out for a long night of debauchery. They aren’t spilling the beans on the details of Tio Loco’s bachelor night but….???

Perhaps the best part of my stay in Florida was finally meeting my cousins Zev and Hayden. We had a great time, staying up late, sneaking out after our parents went to bed, and dancing up a storm at the wedding. I’m pretty sad, though, because they just moved to Albania, which I am pretty sure is a million miles away. (I’m not sure if that’s where albinos are from, but I think it might be.) Here is a picture of Zev wearing Grandpa’s shoes. He’s still trying to take them off.

And here is a picture of me and my cousin Hayden sleeping off a hangover. I’d like to point out how much bigger than him I am despite the fact that he is 5 weeks older. Actually, the night before I beat him soundly in an arm wrestling match.

Next is a super cute picture of me. Now, I never claimed to be a teetotaler (just super cute), so make whatever inferences you like. But imagine being at a bar with a bunch of adults speaking gibberish. You'd be bored, wouldn't you? Bored enough to drink?! To quote Abuelito, "(I) Rest my case."

No trip to the U.S. is complete without a pilgrimage to The Cheesecake Factory. We arrived about a ½ hour before they opened, though, so we were starving by the time we sat down. Daddy tried to eat Tia Lily but our hero, me, baby Sebastian, jumped in and saved her in the nick of time. I did the world a huge favor, really, since it would be a much darker place without her at the helm of the Methow Valley News sports department. Who would provide the latest breaking news on the latest high school wrestling match?!

And because no entry would be complete without showing off how good-looking my parents are, look no further. Doesn’t mommy look lovely. I’m crying, of course, because as of an hour before this photo was taken, Tia Stacy said “I do,” officially taking herself off the market.

And Daddy looked so handsome that day that he gave me a run for my money. Hence, I tried to mar his good looks by chewing off his nose. It didn’t work, though. Alas, his nose is still intact… for now.

And although Daddy is pretty handsome, here is further proof that my good looks come mostly from Mommy’s side of the family. Mommy’s sisters, Tia Lily and Tia Elizabeth, are so good-looking you could, as my Tio Nilo likes to say, “put them on a plate and eat them.” Don’t worry, he isn’t related to them though, which makes him a little less creepy but not much.

And while we are on the topic of good looks, let’s have a big round of applause for the generation that started it all. That’s me with Great-Grandad. You can’t see it in the picture but he’s got the nicest baby blues this side of…well, anywhere and everywhere.

And this here is Great-Grandma Rita. Thankfully I inherited her high cheekbones and naturally slim physique. In order to truly inherit all of her qualities, I was trying to eat her, but I never expected to be photographed in flagranti delicto! (Yes, I speak Latin. Surprised?!)

Here we have my Tia Piolin (that’s Aunt Tweety Bird to those of you who don’t speak Spanish) and Tio Jerrod. Actually, Tia Piolin is my mommy’s first cousin, which technically makes her my first cousin once removed (FCOR), but she’ll always be an Auntie to me. That good-looking kid in the picture is my second cousin Noah.

Not pictured here, but equally has good-looking are my Grandma Sherrie, Opa Andy, Tia Stephanie (again, my FCOR) and Tio Scott. He’s a big, bad policeman in Tampa so all of you hooligans watch out if you decide to whoop it up gangsta-style in Ybor City.

The funniest guy of all, though, is my Great-Grandpa Leo. He tells the best jokes that side of Colombia. (After all, my Abuelito Pablo is hilarious. Granted, much of that is unintentional...)

My Tio Amit is the lucky guy who happens to be married to my Tia Elizabeth. In case you are wondering why I look a bit worried in this photo, Tio Amit had just asked if he could borrow one of my diapers.

And rounding out this photo essay is a picture of me with my first cousins Zev and Hayden and my second cousins Noah and Nolan. Now ladies, don’t fret. We are all single. You don’t have to fight over us. Plus, there is one handsome dude to add to the mix: unfortunately my second cousin Jude couldn’t make it but I am definitely looking forward to meeting him when I make my first big trip to Oregon.

P.S. Despite all my disparaging remarks about my Tio Loco, he’s actually a pretty cool cat. I was just jealous that he happened to meet Tia Stacy before I was even born. I mean, talk about an uneven playing field...

Sign Up for Email Updates!!!

Hola Amigos,

Sorry for a lack of updates recently. I promise Part III of my USA visit will be posted soon. For now, however, I wanted to inform you of a cool new feature of my blog. Basically, you can enter your email in the box to the left and receive emails every time I update my blog. Modern technology is wonderful, and you should embrace it!

Now you can receive updates automatically every time I am inspired to post some deep thought on my blog, instead of checking it 5 times a day. However, I still encourage you to check it daily just to see lovely pictures of me.

Anyway, that's all for now. Sign up and tell your friends. Take out ads in the Washington Post. Heck, even the Dominion Post (that's a shout out to all you in Morgantown!).

XOXO,
Baby Sebastian

USA Update Part II

Hey Hey Hey,

Sorry for the delay, but I've been a busy little baby lately. I took Mommy and Daddy to Cusco and the Sacred Valley last weekend, which was cool. Plus, I have perfected the art of sitting up, and am getting pretty good at crawling too. Nevetheless, a baby as talented as me should be better able to multi-task and update his blog more frequently. My bad. Mi malo. (That doesn't actually translate correctly, but I'm a baby. And a bilingual one at that... so back off.)

So... back to updating you on my visit to explore my roots. After going to Maine, you'd think I would explore some important places in U.S. history, since this was my maiden voyage to the motherland. Perhaps the Liberty Bell, Gettysburg, or Mt. Vernon. Ha! No history or culture for me. Instead, I went to visit my adoring throng of fans in our nation's capital and surrounding suburbs (Alexandria, Arlington, McLean) and boonies (Potomac Falls).

First, I went out with Mommy to see her World Bank friends. Now I am not sure exactly how the world bank works, but my guess is that they offer banking, loans, mortgages and ATMs to people all over the world, kinda like the Bank of America does in the U.S. (Makes sense, right?) What I do know for certain is that Mommy's friends are some pretty foxy ladies. This picture works for many reasons... particularly, because I am in the middle of a throng of lovely ladies and they are fawning over me. I will definitely take it to play group and brag to the other babies.

After that, we went to the National Academy of Sciences where I met Tia Rebecca. She was super cool and had lots of toys in her office for me to play with. She also knows the importance of a good hip carrier, so thanks for that! She has been closely tracking my development and can't wait to see me again. (Who can blame her?)

Next, I visited two more of Mommy's old work friends. Now don't misunderstand me... these ladies are not old (though I guess they are compared to me). First, we saw Aysha. She doesn't work at the bank anymore, but she certainly is as eye-catching as Mommy's other work friends. We were having a private conversation in this photo. Hence, I will not share the details with you...

Then there's me with Michelle. Now I grant you that I don't look so good here. A big part of that is that Michelle is so pretty, I actually look less cute in comparison. But make no mistake, I am very cute. And I look forward to meeting any daughters she may have in the future.

After these visits, it was time to see other friends. First is me with Tio Kris (Uncle 'Tis), Daddy's old college roommate. From what I hear, Daddy took great care of Tio Kris during their college years, teaching him how to cook and keeping the place tidy. However, I'm sure Tio K has a different perspective (though his memory is probably spotty).

Then there's me with Tia Nicole. As is obvious in this photo, she absolutely loved me. And who can blame her? Especially with my super-cool hawaiian shirt?

Then there was the quality time with Tio Jamie. It took a while for us to communicate because of his super-thick Boston accent. Wow! I thought I was hard to understand... Anyway, congrats to the recent Law School graduate. He's now clerking for a judge in Boston, which is wonderful (as are their cream pies, I hear), but I worry that his accent will get worse over the course of the next year.

There's me with Tios Tim and Kiren. They're like my second parents and were kind enough to host a BBQ in my honor during our visit. They will really cement their super-status once they get my college fund started (hint, hint). (You'll also notice that I use the word "super" a lot. What can I say... I am a baby and have a limited vocabulary.)

Finally, here's me spending some quality alone time with Kiren at the BBQ. She's dreamy! And she knows I am waaay cuter than Tim. He better watch his back.

Lastly, I also took some time to hang out with my extended family. We stayed with Tios Juan and Kitty (pictured here). What the first photo doesn't show is my look of amazement. Even in black and white, this photo clearly shows that Tio Juan has like 5 black hairs left. There's no pepper with that salt! Suffice it to say that Daddy looks much younger. And much more handsome. But Tio Juan did have a lot of energy for an old guy. Then there's me and Tia Kitty. While I drool regularly, my excuse here is that we're in the kitchen.

Then there's the Gonzalez men. That's my Daddy's Tio Guillermo (his godfather, no less) with me, Daddy, Tio Juan, and my older cousin Alejandro. Alejandro is already 4 years old, but you can see he's already taller than Tio Guillermo (and Daddy).

Finally, I conclude with a splash of color. Here's the next Gonzalez Generation. That's me with my cousins Alicia and Alejandro. We were just hanging on the floor talking baby politics, when we were interrupted by the family papparazzi.

Anyway, part 3 (of 3) of the USA update will be coming soon, I promise. For now, keep dreaming of the next time you see me in person...

XOXO,
Baby Sebastian