A Semi-Recent Update on My Latest Moves (Literally!)

Hola Amigos!

Look at that... I am actually updating this thing a little quicker this time. It's all due to that little thing I call "baby dedication". You may or may not know what it is, but you almost certainly don't have it. (Except for you babies out there...) Anyway, this here is me during my early crawling stage - way back in late August. Really, that was 1/5 of my life ago. It would be like 10 years ago for all you old timers! (I'm talking to you Grandpa Ed! Don't forget to wear your slippers out on the town again!) I went to the Military School of Crawling, hence my crawling very close to the ground. Really, we trained with live fire! It was pretty scary, even for a tough baby like me.



Now, here's a more recent video of my crawling. I call this my rebellious, long-haired hippy crawling. (Is that another reference to Grandpa Ed? I'm not sure...) Basically, I forgot everything they taught me in Military School about laying close to the ground and moving slowly, plus my hair is longer... If it looks like I am moving super fast, it's because I am. That tap you just felt on your shoulder... that was me too.



OK, I'm keeping this short, and ever so sweet. Much love to all my adoring fans. XOXO,

Baby Sebastian (The Speed Demon)

The Much-Awaited Conclusion of the USA Trip Trilogy!

Hey, Hey, Hey

First, I need to give a shout out to Tia Liz, who has been complaining for quite some time about the missing update on my Florida trip. I appreciate all sorts of fan mail, and Tia Liz is apparently one of my biggest fans (based on number of comments).

Without further ado, I present to you the last installment in my trilogy “Sebastian’s Visit to the Motherland.” At some point I promise you that I will be updating this blog on a more regular basis so that you are reading about what happened last week instead of 4 months ago, but hey, cut me some slack, it’s hard work raising my parents. For example, mommy just started doing some consulting for the World Bank again and I have been helping her read through important documents about the quality of education in Colombia. (I am assuming the quality has improved since they taught my Abuelito all sorts of crazy things.)

After leaving the DC area, we headed to Boca Raton, Florida to attend my Tio Loco’s wedding. While there, I got to meet my mommy’s family. Well, really they got to meet me…something that they had all been eagerly awaiting for months. And hey, who can blame them? I am, after all, super cute and very witty as you well know.

Anyhow, it turns out that my Tio Loco (that’s Eddie for those of you who don’t know him), despite being a bit crazy, actually has pretty good taste in women. I present you with exhibit A: the pretty lady here is his bride, Stacy.

And just to show you how well he cleans up, see Exhibit B: isn’t that a snazzy tux that he is wearing.

Next up is a picture of my first meeting with Tio Loco. If I look a bit pensive, it’s mostly because I had already met Tia Stacy and I was having a hard time figuring out what she saw in this guy. I mean, she could do soooo much better…I, after all, am available. As is Grandpa, who, besides being so handsome, is crazy about me. (But not yet crazy.)

Then there is my Tia Lillian. She is a big shot sports editor for her local newspaper. What! You’ve never heard of the Methow Valley News? I know that you spend all of your time reading this blog, but really, you should get out a little more. She’s single too by the way.

This here is a picture of Tio Amit and Daddy before heading out for a long night of debauchery. They aren’t spilling the beans on the details of Tio Loco’s bachelor night but….???

Perhaps the best part of my stay in Florida was finally meeting my cousins Zev and Hayden. We had a great time, staying up late, sneaking out after our parents went to bed, and dancing up a storm at the wedding. I’m pretty sad, though, because they just moved to Albania, which I am pretty sure is a million miles away. (I’m not sure if that’s where albinos are from, but I think it might be.) Here is a picture of Zev wearing Grandpa’s shoes. He’s still trying to take them off.

And here is a picture of me and my cousin Hayden sleeping off a hangover. I’d like to point out how much bigger than him I am despite the fact that he is 5 weeks older. Actually, the night before I beat him soundly in an arm wrestling match.

Next is a super cute picture of me. Now, I never claimed to be a teetotaler (just super cute), so make whatever inferences you like. But imagine being at a bar with a bunch of adults speaking gibberish. You'd be bored, wouldn't you? Bored enough to drink?! To quote Abuelito, "(I) Rest my case."

No trip to the U.S. is complete without a pilgrimage to The Cheesecake Factory. We arrived about a ½ hour before they opened, though, so we were starving by the time we sat down. Daddy tried to eat Tia Lily but our hero, me, baby Sebastian, jumped in and saved her in the nick of time. I did the world a huge favor, really, since it would be a much darker place without her at the helm of the Methow Valley News sports department. Who would provide the latest breaking news on the latest high school wrestling match?!

And because no entry would be complete without showing off how good-looking my parents are, look no further. Doesn’t mommy look lovely. I’m crying, of course, because as of an hour before this photo was taken, Tia Stacy said “I do,” officially taking herself off the market.

And Daddy looked so handsome that day that he gave me a run for my money. Hence, I tried to mar his good looks by chewing off his nose. It didn’t work, though. Alas, his nose is still intact… for now.

And although Daddy is pretty handsome, here is further proof that my good looks come mostly from Mommy’s side of the family. Mommy’s sisters, Tia Lily and Tia Elizabeth, are so good-looking you could, as my Tio Nilo likes to say, “put them on a plate and eat them.” Don’t worry, he isn’t related to them though, which makes him a little less creepy but not much.

And while we are on the topic of good looks, let’s have a big round of applause for the generation that started it all. That’s me with Great-Grandad. You can’t see it in the picture but he’s got the nicest baby blues this side of…well, anywhere and everywhere.

And this here is Great-Grandma Rita. Thankfully I inherited her high cheekbones and naturally slim physique. In order to truly inherit all of her qualities, I was trying to eat her, but I never expected to be photographed in flagranti delicto! (Yes, I speak Latin. Surprised?!)

Here we have my Tia Piolin (that’s Aunt Tweety Bird to those of you who don’t speak Spanish) and Tio Jerrod. Actually, Tia Piolin is my mommy’s first cousin, which technically makes her my first cousin once removed (FCOR), but she’ll always be an Auntie to me. That good-looking kid in the picture is my second cousin Noah.

Not pictured here, but equally has good-looking are my Grandma Sherrie, Opa Andy, Tia Stephanie (again, my FCOR) and Tio Scott. He’s a big, bad policeman in Tampa so all of you hooligans watch out if you decide to whoop it up gangsta-style in Ybor City.

The funniest guy of all, though, is my Great-Grandpa Leo. He tells the best jokes that side of Colombia. (After all, my Abuelito Pablo is hilarious. Granted, much of that is unintentional...)

My Tio Amit is the lucky guy who happens to be married to my Tia Elizabeth. In case you are wondering why I look a bit worried in this photo, Tio Amit had just asked if he could borrow one of my diapers.

And rounding out this photo essay is a picture of me with my first cousins Zev and Hayden and my second cousins Noah and Nolan. Now ladies, don’t fret. We are all single. You don’t have to fight over us. Plus, there is one handsome dude to add to the mix: unfortunately my second cousin Jude couldn’t make it but I am definitely looking forward to meeting him when I make my first big trip to Oregon.

P.S. Despite all my disparaging remarks about my Tio Loco, he’s actually a pretty cool cat. I was just jealous that he happened to meet Tia Stacy before I was even born. I mean, talk about an uneven playing field...

Sign Up for Email Updates!!!

Hola Amigos,

Sorry for a lack of updates recently. I promise Part III of my USA visit will be posted soon. For now, however, I wanted to inform you of a cool new feature of my blog. Basically, you can enter your email in the box to the left and receive emails every time I update my blog. Modern technology is wonderful, and you should embrace it!

Now you can receive updates automatically every time I am inspired to post some deep thought on my blog, instead of checking it 5 times a day. However, I still encourage you to check it daily just to see lovely pictures of me.

Anyway, that's all for now. Sign up and tell your friends. Take out ads in the Washington Post. Heck, even the Dominion Post (that's a shout out to all you in Morgantown!).

XOXO,
Baby Sebastian

USA Update Part II

Hey Hey Hey,

Sorry for the delay, but I've been a busy little baby lately. I took Mommy and Daddy to Cusco and the Sacred Valley last weekend, which was cool. Plus, I have perfected the art of sitting up, and am getting pretty good at crawling too. Nevetheless, a baby as talented as me should be better able to multi-task and update his blog more frequently. My bad. Mi malo. (That doesn't actually translate correctly, but I'm a baby. And a bilingual one at that... so back off.)

So... back to updating you on my visit to explore my roots. After going to Maine, you'd think I would explore some important places in U.S. history, since this was my maiden voyage to the motherland. Perhaps the Liberty Bell, Gettysburg, or Mt. Vernon. Ha! No history or culture for me. Instead, I went to visit my adoring throng of fans in our nation's capital and surrounding suburbs (Alexandria, Arlington, McLean) and boonies (Potomac Falls).

First, I went out with Mommy to see her World Bank friends. Now I am not sure exactly how the world bank works, but my guess is that they offer banking, loans, mortgages and ATMs to people all over the world, kinda like the Bank of America does in the U.S. (Makes sense, right?) What I do know for certain is that Mommy's friends are some pretty foxy ladies. This picture works for many reasons... particularly, because I am in the middle of a throng of lovely ladies and they are fawning over me. I will definitely take it to play group and brag to the other babies.

After that, we went to the National Academy of Sciences where I met Tia Rebecca. She was super cool and had lots of toys in her office for me to play with. She also knows the importance of a good hip carrier, so thanks for that! She has been closely tracking my development and can't wait to see me again. (Who can blame her?)

Next, I visited two more of Mommy's old work friends. Now don't misunderstand me... these ladies are not old (though I guess they are compared to me). First, we saw Aysha. She doesn't work at the bank anymore, but she certainly is as eye-catching as Mommy's other work friends. We were having a private conversation in this photo. Hence, I will not share the details with you...

Then there's me with Michelle. Now I grant you that I don't look so good here. A big part of that is that Michelle is so pretty, I actually look less cute in comparison. But make no mistake, I am very cute. And I look forward to meeting any daughters she may have in the future.

After these visits, it was time to see other friends. First is me with Tio Kris (Uncle 'Tis), Daddy's old college roommate. From what I hear, Daddy took great care of Tio Kris during their college years, teaching him how to cook and keeping the place tidy. However, I'm sure Tio K has a different perspective (though his memory is probably spotty).

Then there's me with Tia Nicole. As is obvious in this photo, she absolutely loved me. And who can blame her? Especially with my super-cool hawaiian shirt?

Then there was the quality time with Tio Jamie. It took a while for us to communicate because of his super-thick Boston accent. Wow! I thought I was hard to understand... Anyway, congrats to the recent Law School graduate. He's now clerking for a judge in Boston, which is wonderful (as are their cream pies, I hear), but I worry that his accent will get worse over the course of the next year.

There's me with Tios Tim and Kiren. They're like my second parents and were kind enough to host a BBQ in my honor during our visit. They will really cement their super-status once they get my college fund started (hint, hint). (You'll also notice that I use the word "super" a lot. What can I say... I am a baby and have a limited vocabulary.)

Finally, here's me spending some quality alone time with Kiren at the BBQ. She's dreamy! And she knows I am waaay cuter than Tim. He better watch his back.

Lastly, I also took some time to hang out with my extended family. We stayed with Tios Juan and Kitty (pictured here). What the first photo doesn't show is my look of amazement. Even in black and white, this photo clearly shows that Tio Juan has like 5 black hairs left. There's no pepper with that salt! Suffice it to say that Daddy looks much younger. And much more handsome. But Tio Juan did have a lot of energy for an old guy. Then there's me and Tia Kitty. While I drool regularly, my excuse here is that we're in the kitchen.

Then there's the Gonzalez men. That's my Daddy's Tio Guillermo (his godfather, no less) with me, Daddy, Tio Juan, and my older cousin Alejandro. Alejandro is already 4 years old, but you can see he's already taller than Tio Guillermo (and Daddy).

Finally, I conclude with a splash of color. Here's the next Gonzalez Generation. That's me with my cousins Alicia and Alejandro. We were just hanging on the floor talking baby politics, when we were interrupted by the family papparazzi.

Anyway, part 3 (of 3) of the USA update will be coming soon, I promise. For now, keep dreaming of the next time you see me in person...

XOXO,
Baby Sebastian

I'm OK. You're OK. But you didn't suffer through an earthquake last night

Hola friends,

As you might have heard, we were hit with quite the earthquake last night. Fortunately, we survived it ok. Though Mommy and Daddy were a bit scared. Anyway, as you can tell, the internet is still working. (Woo-hoo) And, as a special treat, below is a video re-enactment of last night's events. I warn you not to watch this video if you are easily scared or upset. This video contains realistic seismic events and a super cute baby.

Without further ado, I present myself (Baby Sebastian) in... "The Night the Earth Shook Mightily"




Some folks have privately mentioned to me, Baby Sebastian, that my earthquake video reenactment might have seemed insensitive. While my baby humor may differ from yours, some medical professionals have privately mentioned to me that this video might have been cathartic for Mommy and Daddy, and a good way to let everyone know the three of us were ok.

For those of you wanting to know how you can help the unfortunate people left injured or homeless by this event, we strongly recommend donating money to the Red Cross, who have been extremely active in Peru since this event.

Time for another update

Hello again, and my apologies for taking two weeks to update you on my adventures...





My tiny fingers always hate me after typing these messages, so I know you understand. (Though pictured above is my faithful assistant, who does help a little.) Anyway, I am going to spend this post updating you on part 1 (of 3) of my semi-recent trip to the US of A. After all, I am a proud citizen, regardless of what the Peruvian authorities will have you think. (In fact, I was thrilled last night when I saw the U.S. defeat "The World" in women's surfing in the X-Games. What, you missed it?!) Anyway, my U.S. tour was comprised of visits to Maine (to visit Tios John "El Burrito" Burrows and his fiancee, Miss Christy Cole), Washington, DC, and Boca Raton, FL.


However, first I must congratulate Christy and John, since they got married yesterday! Particular congrats go to Tio Burrito, since he married way, way up. Similarly, my condolences to Tia Christy. If she'd just waited a couple of years, I'd be on the market.



















Anyway, as a special gift, please view these ultra cute pictures of me repeatedly. The first one is straight outta a catalog (not Compton). Which reminds me, I really should start supporting my 5-a-day diaper habit by pursuing a modeling career.



















The second one is a shot of me and Daddy at his office, where he "works". Abuelito says he just sits in his chair and plays video games all day. I don't know who to believe, though Abuelito does come off a little crazy.


Anyway, on to the photo update...




















First is me with Tio John. That's him right after I told him that I was making the moves on his future wife. Imagine the look on his face when she gave me her phone number...


Next is hidden video of me actually hitting on Christy. As you can tell, I am pretty smooth. And cute.


















There's Daddy and Tio John hanging out in Portland, Maine. I took them there for the day since they had been so well behaved. Well, Daddy was anyway.






















Then there's Mommy and Christy, surely talking about how lucky they both are to have such wonderful men in their lives. (Mommy actually has two!)























Finally, here is the happy couple!!! Of course, all bets are off once I grow up a little. As I mentioned before... In fact, if you don't remember, you may need to work on your reading comprehension and retention. But that's for another post. Heck, you've probably already forgotten the last sentence anyway...



Why is this picture here, you ask? Well, it was taken in Maine during my visit, it displays my new love for drinking from glasses, and (most importantly) it serves to remind you that this blog is all about me. So feel free to stare at it for hours on end and comment on how cute I am.



















Finally, it's just me. Hanging out on a bed in Maine. Looking mellow and curious and thinking about how happy I am that it's not winter in Maine.

Well... thanks for checking in. Remember, parts 2 and 3 of my USA tour will be updated soon. Also, American Airlines is currently having a sale to South America, so come see how cute I am in person. Lots of love to all my fans!

XOXO,

Sebastian (aka Mr Squeakers, Squeaky, Sea Bass, Seagull, Corvina, Tacu Tacu...)

Career Aspirations

Hello again...

Told you I would be back soon. Though it is a brief message. I now realize that, in the very near future, I would like to be either an actor or an abusive landlord. Which sounds better to you? (And special thanks to my - super old - Tio Juan for sending me this video... I really didn't think he was very hip.) Peace out for now. Will write more soon!

XOXO,
Sebastian






Just in case the embedded video has some glitches (which it appears to have), you can also click on the following link:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74